Friday, September 23, 2011

Why am I scared to face my problems?


Do you feel anxious and fearful when obstacles, challenges and problems come your way and prefer to run away from them? You are not alone, it is normal for all types of people to experience these emotions when they have problems.

Problems are a part of being human and we can’t do much to completely get rid of them from our life. Most of us though, prefer to live in an illusion than to confront our problems and do something about them. So why are many of us scared to face our problems? Below are 5 reasons why.

1. Problems push you to move out of your comfort zone and may involve lots of stress and hassles. Change is difficult and it takes effort. Many people find it easier to resist their problems and procrastinate instead.

Most people believe it’s easier to continue in the same old way rather than to put forth the effort to face their problems. Change makes most people feel insecure and ill at ease and they will do anything they can to avoid it, preferring to run away from their problems.

2. Facing up to some hard truth facts is just too painful- that’s why many people prefer to ignore that their problems even exist! Addicts such as drug users and alcoholics are a perfect example of humans avoiding reality.

Addicts tend to deny and ignore their alcohol or drug – induced problems, hoping that the problems will someday go away, but of course this never happens-things just gets worse!

3. Some people subconsciously hold onto some negative core beliefs about life that make them avert pain, difficulty and responsibility. This may include having deep core beliefs that life should be easy and comfortable and that they should never have to do things in life that are difficult.

This type of thinking has the potential to get you into all sorts of trouble and the consequences of these beliefs include passivity, hopelessness and despair.

4. Fear of failure makes people scared to face their problems in the face. Most human beings have a low frustration tolerance and find it difficult to accept setbacks and failures. The consequences of failure for many people would be catastrophic- so it is easier to give up trying altogether.

As a result these people refuse to try to fix their lives and act responsible. Most people don’t analyse their fears at any point, they just experience them. They keep on focusing on the worst possible scenario that could happen to them, which terrifies them even more!

5. Childhood upbringing and parental overindulgence may influence certain people to avoid facing up to their problems. The spoiled child of overindulgent parents is given poor exposure to deferred gratification and grows up lacking persistence and having difficulty initiating and sustaining individual effort.

These type of people tend to expect the world to come to them rather than taking responsibility of their problems and creating their own lives. Such people feel cheated and very insecure because life does not continue to provide what they learned to expect during childhood when everything was given to them on a platter.

The truth is hassles are a part of life. Confronting things that are difficult make it easier to deal with difficult things in your future and makes you stronger. Hassles and problems are a normal part of life and it’s fine to experience hassles in the process of working towards what you want. Confronting out problems is a good learning experience.

If you achieve your goals by confronting your problems, then it was all worth the hassle in the long run! If you are one of these people who has a runaway imagination and catastrophise your problems-consider this. Think about stopping, turning around and facing your problem. 

Compare your problem to God and you will understand that nothing, no problem is bigger than Him.  Once you measure the size of your problem compared to the greatness of God, you'll find that the danger you have been running from is really just an old, toothless tiger.
 
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