Saturday, September 24, 2011

7 secrets to getting over your addiction to your ex

Have you been dumped by the person you loved so much? Did your relationship hit the rocks and end suddenly? Are you finding it impossible to forget about them? Most likely you’ll be feeling depressed, anxious and sometimes even hysterical. You find it hard to go work, to concentrate on anything and just want to crawl under a rock and die! It feels like you just can’t handle life anymore. Don’t worry; what you’re experiencing are perfectly normal reactions to being dumped.

Love is such a powerful emotion- more powerful than any stimulant in the world. Being in love can be likened to having an addiction- you are addicted to your loved one. You get used to having that person around all the time and now you’re suddenly alone and cut off cold turkey. You’re beside yourself with the pain of being dumped! What do you do from here?

It’s easy to say that you’ll find another person, but imagine telling an alcoholic that the world would look better sober than it does when they’re drunk!  The good news is that there are solutions out there for you. Contrary to how you feel and believe, getting over your break up is possible! Here are 7 secrets outlined to help you conquer your addiction to your ex.

1. Self diagnosis

In order to conquer your addictions to your ex you have to acknowledge that you are suffering withdrawal pains somewhat like an addict feels when they get off drugs. Once you admit you have a problem, you’re half way to the cure.

2. Heal your damaged self

The truth is that sometimes people fail to get over a break up not because of still being hooked to their ex, but because they haven’t gotten over the blow the break up caused to their self esteem. After a break up most people feel a sense of loss of power and have low self esteem. This damage just hinders them further from getting over the break up. The only way to restore your sense of loss is to work on building your self esteem and self worth.

3. Acknowledge there is no such thing as a soul mate

Myths created by the media industry propagate the concepts of “the one” and “soul mate”. These fairytales or myths keep you stuck by not allowing you to effectively get over your ex. A smart strategy in getting over a break up is to stop believing that these myths of “the one” are true. There is no validity in them! Once you do acknowledge this then you will accept in your mind that you can find some other person that will replace your ex. The great news is there are lots of potential partners out there for you!

4. Don’t listen to sad romance songs and don’t watch depressing movies

Do not allow the media and music industry and their false messages about love influence you. The love songs you hear have the power to influence you to feel all sorts of negative emotions and make you cry. In addition, listening to romantic songs or watching movies about love will make you yearn more for your ex to come back to you.

5. Erase them from your mind

Conquer the need to communicate with your ex. It’s normal for you to want to talk with them. People who are dumped are usually compulsively driven to seek information from their ex. You want to ask what you did that made them go away or if there was someone else. The truth is that the more you talk to your ex, the more you strengthen the addiction you have with them. This action is just like picking your scab and just makes the healing process take longer.

6. Destroy the memorabilia

Burn the pictures of your times together, throw out the love letters and stop going to the places that remind you of your ex. Deleting your past memories such as your photos from your computer will help your subconscious to realise that the relationship is really over. If you can’t get yourself to destroy your memorabilia then gather them all up and store them away in a special box and place out of your sight.

7. Use your anger constructively

Determine to use this loss as your stepping stone for success. The Bible in Ephesians 4:26 says "Be angry and yet don't sin and don't let the sun go down on your anger."  Direct all your anger towards motivating yourself to become a better and more successful person.  Make it your mission to partner with God to help you conquer your pain, to be happy and someday soon start a new and better relationship.

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