What is your definition of a strong person? Is it someone who is ruthless, rude and self seeking? Or is it someone who is the life of the party, loud and confrontational?
What appears as strength – may be one’s weakness!
In reality the characteristics described above qualify as those of someone who is internally weak. It may shock you to learn that the girl, who is always trying to be the life of the party, does so because she needs the approval of others to feel worthy.
It may also shock you to learn that the pushy and rude office bully acts the way he does because he fears others will dominate him. Those who need to act tough and strong are the ones who need strength the most!
So what is true strength?
Dr. Aurelio Peccei [1908-84,] founded the Nobel Prize winning humanitarian think-tank The Club of Rome. He fought against Fascism in Italy during World War 2 and was imprisoned and sentenced to death for it. During this time people like him were executed, tortured or shot to death by the roadside. Each day was an intense life or death struggle.
During an interview he stated that the arrogant and those who looked confident externally turned out to be cowardly and weak at the crucial moment. On the other hand, he commented that those who were humble and seemed quiet remained courageously calm under the most hellish circumstances.
True strength comes from the inside
The above example highlights the fact that you cannot tell a person’s true nature by their outward appearance or by their behaviour when everything looks like it’s going well for them. True strength doesn’t come from being fake, overly confident or pushy. The truth is that strong people don’t try to prove they are strong to anyone – they know they are.
How can I be strong too?
- Believe in yourself no matter what!
- Learn to live without the approval of others
- Love and listen to yourself
- Learn the skill of assertiveness
When you’re assertive:
- You ask for what you want or say no in a simple, direct way that doesn’t attack or manipulate anyone else [“No thank you, I am not able take care of your dog on Saturday.”]
- You communicate your feelings and needs honestly and directly while maintaining respect and consideration for others [“I would like you to keep your agreements with me.”]
- To be assertive is to stand up for yourself and your rights without apologising and feeling guilty [“I’d like you to respect my right to half an hour of quiet time without being interrupted.”]
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