Saturday, October 1, 2011

Are you hooked on love?

Do you believe love is the solution to all your problems? Do you use a romantic partner to help you cope with life? Do you find it excruciatingly hard to be on your own? Do you keep on getting into relationships one after the other to deal with life and its problems? If so, there is a big chance you may be a love addict.

Love is the escape

Some people jump into relationships with people that they don’t really care about just to cope with unendurable feelings they have when they are alone.
The truth is that when someone who is addicted to love enters into a relationship with someone, they are not doing it necessarily because they love the other person but because they are using them to provide them a drug called love.

The person giving the love to the love addict is just like a dealer to a drug addict- they are the supplier. A drug addict doesn’t care about the “dealer” but is only concerned about what the “dealer” can give them. It is the same with people addicted to love.

Love addicts don’t know that they have a problem

Ironically, the person addicted to love doesn’t consciously understand that they have a problem. A love addict without knowing themselves will believe that they are in love with the person and may even believe that they are “the one”- not knowing that maybe they don’t really love the person but only the love and nurturing they are providing them.

I can’t let go of the love chemical!

If their partner were to break the relationship off for some reason then the love addict will find it hard to cope with the break up and suffer and cry and be unable to let go and get on with life.

The love addict may respond by trying to get their ex lover back because they feel that they can’t seem to be able to live without them. If they fail to get them back they will quickly get into a new relationship with another person to kill the feelings of brokenness and loneliness they are suffering.

You may stop and wonder that if the person supposedly loved their ex so much and wanted them back then why would the same person get into another relationship quickly after? But this is the case with love addicts- it’s not so much about the individuals involved but the love drug they offer to them.

Need the love fix!

The truth is as soon as the love addict finds someone else to provide for them the nurturing they used to receive from their old partner, they feel safe and content again and can get over their ex because they found a replacement.

If a drug addicted person couldn’t get drugs from their old “dealer” then they will quickly find another “dealer” to replace them. It’s not the “dealer” they are interested in but the drugs that they can give them! In this case, it’s not the lover they are in love with but the love drug that they have that they can give them.

Stop believing that your solution is romantic love

If you are hooked on love and want to recover from this addiction you have to first accept the truth. You have to admit that you have a problem. Look into your past as this will help you understand what happened back then to make you the person you are today.

You have to stop believing the fallacy that romantic love is the solution to all of life’s problems. Acknowledge that getting into relationships with others is never going to take away your pain or problems in life. Come to the realization that instead of looking to others for nurturing and love- look to the Lord and within yourself to find the answers and solutions you need.

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