Saturday, October 1, 2011

Why do people bully others?

Bullies exist everywhere from in the school playground to the workplace environment. It is common for people to have had an experience with a bully in their life. What are the reasons why people become bullies and what is the motivation behind their action? If you knew the reasons why people become bullies you will be able to effectively handle them when you encounter them.

Bullies are victims victimising others

What is the reason why people bully others? The main reason is related to a childhood experiences. Bullies may come from dysfunctional family backgrounds. They may have been born into chaotic and unreliable family atmospheres where they were abused and lived in fear. Children who were abused at home by their parents or other family members develop feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. They then want to take out their pain on others weaker than them.

As a result the abused child grows up with big weaknesses in their character and resort to bullying others to compensate for their feelings of insecurity. Bullies seek out weaker people and victimise them in order to prove to themselves that they are not the victim they feel they are. Victimising weaker people who won’t stand up to themselves provides the bully with a great sense of relief.

Bullies feel that they have no control

Bullies push other people around because they have an excessive need for control. Often the excessive need for control has its origins in a traumatic personal history. Bullies try to control others because they lack control in their own lives.

Externally bullies may seem to be tough and in control but it is a different story going on internally. On the inside bullies feel weak and feeble and are desperately craving to prove to themselves and others that they are a force to be reckoned with.

Bullies are screaming for attention

Some people may also be motivated to bully others because of a need for attention. This may stem from parental neglect, a lack of nurturing and feeling worthless and lonely as a result. The bully resorts to victimising others because it is the only way they believe they can get the attention of other people around them.

Bullies may be motivated by jealousy

Bullies feel less worthy than other people and this may make them susceptible to being jealous. The bully may seek to victimise a person they are jealous of as this may provide relief from their feelings of jealousy towards the other person. Victimising a person they are jealous of gives the bully a power trip but this only temporarily compensates for their feelings of jealousy over their victim.

Bullies need help

The truth is bullies need help. They need to address their issues and deep rooted insecurities by working on themselves instead of resorting to pushing other people around. In relation to child bullies, elders must take appropriate action to offer appropriate help and counselling.

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