Saturday, September 24, 2011

Why was I dumped by my partner?

Were you recently dumped by your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse? All your life, people have been telling you love is the answer. Love will bring you security, happiness, joy and ecstasy, but you’ve experienced the opposite now and you feel like crawling under a rock and dying! Sadly, loving another person doesn’t guarantee you’ll be loved back. The world rarely mentions to us what happens when the love goes away.

When you heart gets broken you understand that life is not always fair. The reality is that we can’t force a certain person to like us or stop someone from meeting someone else and consequently dropping us. Heartbreak doesn’t discriminate and happens every day to all types of people, in all cultures and parts of the world.

Why did it happen to me?

All people who find themselves rejected naturally react in the same way when they are dumped. They start to search for a logical reason as to why such a horrible thing happened to them. Most people tend to focus inwardly and for weeks, months or even years brood over what they did to drive their partner away. People tend to put the blame on themselves and conclude that it happened because something was wrong with them. Interestingly, they never consider that there may have been something wrong with the person that dumped them.

Being dumped usually has nothing to do with you

Part of the post relationship depression is the unrealistic feeling that there is nobody else in the world as wonderful as your ex. If you think that the person you fell in love with is better than you because they dumped you, then understand that you are wrong! You weren’t dumped because you were worthless or inferior. The truth is that you were dumped due to personal issues regarding your ex.

Your ex’s subconscious criteria

People are influenced to fall in love because of their subconscious value system and criteria [these criterions can change throughout our lives]. Physical appearance such as body shape and hair and eye colour is one of the biggest criterions.

If your ex had certain criteria for their ideal partner to be average looking and short, and you look like a blond supermodel than you may get dumped even though there is nothing wrong with you! Even if you are considered by most people to be stunningly beautiful, this doesn’t mean that your ex won’t dump you when they feel that you don’t fit their criteria anymore.

People search for compensation

One of the main reasons why people enter romantic relationships is to compensate for the weaknesses, lack and flaws they have in themselves. For example, if you loved someone who was shy, they may dump you because you are similar to them and they may want someone outgoing and confident to supplement for their timidity.

The reason why you got dumped was due to the fact that you failed to make up for your ex partner’s insecurities-not because there was something wrong with you. Your ex was so weak that they couldn’t find the strength within themselves to be what they desired to be – and found someone else to fill that lack in them.

The truth will set you free!

Understanding that being dumped by your partner had nothing to do with you is an eye opening and liberating truth. This knowledge will help you to not take anything that your ex did to you personally. Knowing that the problem dealt with your ex will help you survive the heartbreak, get over the rejection and spare your self-esteem a huge blow.

When you get dumped you have to muster up the courage to face the rejection you are suffering. Knowing the truth will give you a lot of courage. Understand that it’s their loss if they can’t appreciate the wonderful person you are. The truth is that the person who dumped you is most likely the one with the real problem.

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